'Every day is filled with stories and advice to help you feel comfort, because watching infertility sucks too. You are expected to take all these surface level solutions with a smile and grateful heart-even though deep down you want to scream ‘This sucks! I’m sad, and that’s fine’. This is infertility, for me, this is secondary infertility. Which, if you’re like me, you had no idea this event existed; because no one ever talks about infertility. Which is something I am about to change. My infertility is not something I chose; it is not something I am ashamed of and if you are out there fighting this battle with me you shouldn’t be ashamed either!’
'There is nothing I love more than a watching my husband with our son-particularly when he thinks I’m not. With me in school my husband and son spend regular amounts of alone time together every week. So, they are no stranger to the time together. They have formed their own routines and I love to listen to how daddy handles bath time, or an ouchie; while I’m in the other room doing homework. My husband gets the tantrums along with the giggles so he can relate to the struggle of a day filled with them both.’
'Sometimes I’m able to find some awesome trick to get my son on board with a behavior or action-other times I try everything, and yet he still refuses to stop putting his hands down his pants, or running into the road. I’m not a mean mom because I just haven’t tried considering other methods. I’m a mean mom because that’s the type of parenting my son responds to best from me-and no I don’t feel bad, and no my son doesn’t love me any less.'
'Throughout any given week I encounter hundreds of mothers. Between scheduled playdates, or just chatting with the moms wherever we go, I talk to moms of all kinds; and across the bored there is one thing I hear most. That moms are tired!!! The past two years I have talked about sleep more than ever before, and yet gotten less of it than ever. Let me be clear when discussing sleep, that my toddler is a wonderful sleeper-outside of his early riser tendencies, he’s not the problem. I am, since becoming a mother I have become a terrible sleeper...'
'I don’t love everything about myself every day, but I can find beauty within myself now more than I have ever been able to before. What society labels as flaws reflect the strength of my body. They defy societies expectations for beauty. So no, I’m not working on losing those last 10lbs of baby weight. I’m accepting and loving my body just the way it is. Because it is doing amazing things every single day. My boobs sag because I sustained a human life for six months, with nothing but the milk my body made. My hips and stomach are covered in stretch marks from carrying a human life inside me, for nine months. I’m not ashamed of these elements of my body, I'm proud.'
'Right from the start we are either hot or cold, happy or sad, there’s rarely a moment of being simply content, or neutral. Our days are filled with laughter and joy, accompanied with tears and anger-both experienced to the max level possible. Coming from that golden age from 12 months to around 18 months, where they are a perfect blend of baby and toddler, two has been a hard adjustment for me. When you’re living in this place of intense emotion and unpredictability with your toddler each day it changes the way you function as a mother.'
'After having my son, two years later I’m still an emotional mess. So blaming it on those after baby hormones is kind of out the window. I cry almost every day! Sometimes over things that are understandable, sometimes over a cereal commercial. While I acknowledge the silliness of tearing up at Nemo, I’m not ashamed of these tears. So many things about becoming a mother pushes my emotional capacity.’
'I'm not telling you this is going to be easy, it’s painful to lose friends at any stage in life. What I am telling you is that there is a new world of friendship that comes with motherhood. A type of friendship I have never experienced in any other part of my life. The type of friendship that teaches me the value of trust, loyalty, empathy, and above all else unwavering love, every day. The bond between mom friends is so strong we refer to it as a tribe, village, or community. To me my mommy friends are my family.’
'Finding your footing in this new role of mom can be difficult, I know it was for me. I'm guilty of both sides of the stay at home mom scheduling struggle. I have over scheduled us so badly that we are both exhausted by Wednesday. On the contrary, I have said no to everything and found myself at home with a bored toddler, wondering why I would torture myself like that. The challenge is finding your balance. The most important work there is ‘YOUR’. Your balance might not look like your mom friends, and that’s ok.’
'I know you can't wait to get that baby out! I know you hate the way you look, and feel. But if I told you one day you would miss this, would you believe me? What if I told you that someday-sooner than you think, you will wish more than anything you could be as big, uncomfortable, and naive as you are right now.'
'It was so effortless cruising the aisles of Target with my little in some trendy baby wrap, no need for a big diaper bag, no race against nap time. I honestly thought this mom thing just wasn’t as hard as everyone made it out to be. Little did I know in just a few short years I would be the mom with the crazy messy bun begging her toddler to get off the floor, bribing them with promises of candy or toys. Ok, if I’m honest I always had the messy bun-but the toddler brings out the messy in it! The transition has been rough for me to say the least.'
‘Even now the pressure of being a stay at home mom can feel suffocating. Unless you've been in the shoes of a mom at home with her teething toddler, for 12 hours straight; or the mom who gets puked on in the parking lot before an important meeting-you have no idea how hard the job of being mom can be. The thing that saved me, especially when he was a baby-and the advice I continue to give to ALL the stay at home moms I know is, LEAVE..‘